A few moments ago, in a different, distant dimension far, far away just off the AA55:

“ZIP -  FIZZ -  POP - !”

‘GOOD EVENING, HERE IS A NEWS FLASH: FLASH! 

OTHER NEWS JUST IN: MYSTERY SURROUNDS THE APPEARANCE  OF STRANGE LIGHTS AND NOISES  SEEN AND HEARD NEAR THE TOP SNOWEDON, NTH WALIA. A TEAM OF SCIENTISTS FROM A NUMER OF DISCIPLINES INCLUDING NEUROLOGY, BIOLOGY, QUANTUM PHYSICS, ASTRO-PHYSICS AND THE NATIONAL PARKS AND LEISURE DEPARTMENT OF NOT-A-CLWYN NORTH HAVE COME TOGETHER FOR AN EPEDITION UP TO THE SUMMIT OF MOUNT SNOWEDON. THEY WILL BE LED BY THE EMINENT PHYCISIST SIR EDMUND AP KRUMP, WHOSE FAMILY HAVE CLOSE CONNECTIONS WITH THE AREA.  THIS EXPERDITIION WILL BE CHARGED WITH THE TASK  OF INVESTIGATING THIS PUZZLING SNOWEDON PHENOMENA, THEY WILL BE ACCOMPANIED BY SPECIAL FORCES PERSONEL LED BY NOBEL PRIZE RUNNER UP AND EISTEDFORD FINALIST, Capt. ABBY ARBUTHNOT,( Royal Engineers). THE TEAM IS EXPECTED TO SET OUT FOR THE SUMMIT OF SNOWEDON AT FIRST LIGHT TOMORROW MORNING. WITH THEM WILL BE OUR ACE REPORTER KATIE ADDLED WHO WILL KEEP US INFORMED AND UP TO DATE AS THE MYSTERY UNFOLDS. AND NOW, THE FOOTBALL RESULTS. OH WHY BOTHER. IT’S THE USUAL ROT. THIS IS CLIVE NEWSWORTHY SIGNING OFF.’  

That night in an upstairs room of the Piggin Trough pub, at the foot of mount Snowedon, Cpt Abby Arbuthnot is finishing her pre-op  briefing. ‘So there we have it gentlemen, any questions, good. See you at 05.00hrs, best get some kip. Night night.’ With this she turned away and retired to her room leaving her men  looking at one another thinking, at least she could have waited for us to ask a damn question. Everyone dispersed to their beds and settled down. Tomorrow was going to be a BIG day, they all sensed it. Cpl Hitch voiced everyone’s thoughts when he said.

‘I’ve got a nasty feeling about this lads.’

‘Stop talking rot, Han and get to sleep.’  Voiced another.

Cpl Hitch had gained this nickname, Han, because of his habit of quoting lines from his favourite Sci-Fi movie, “Stars At War”.

There was a pronounced chill in the morning air, (CHILL!) accompanied by an ominous grey mist swirling about the foot of Mount Snowedon. George opened her eyes and looked around while not moving her head. She didn’t recognise her immediate surrounding, noting only that the ground was rocky, with wild grass peeping through in search of first light and that something else, something that made her feel uncomfortable. It was an odour that reminded her of, of  sulphur. This gave her cause for great concern but first, before she jumped to any conclusions, she must check on the others. She sensed great evil, making her skin want to crawl right off from her body. Gingerly she got to her feet and surveyed the scene around her. She was indeed in the countryside but the ground was rough and hilly and she caught a glimpse from out of the corner of her eye of a vague shape in the mist, the shape of a distant mountain. And, where was the lake? There was no sign of it anywhere. She set off in search of the others and was joined almost immediately by a welcome tug on her sleeve, she didn’t have to look down for she knew it was Dog. He led her to a small natural circle of large  stones in the middle of which, huddled around a fire, Elvis, Eric and Capt. Mo, were in deep discussion.

‘Ah, there you are George, we were worried about  you, we seem to have ‘landed’ somewhere that looks remarkably like nowhere any of us have ever seen before, any ideas?’

George sat between Eric and Capt. Mo and took the cup of hot chocolate handed to her by the former. The hot chocolate was most welcome, helping her to regain feeling in her fingers again. She hadn’t realised until the heat from the hot chocolate cut into her fingers,  just how cold it was. 

 ‘I am as baffled as you are on that one  though I did recognise one thing and it was not a good thing.’

‘If you mean the smell and the mist, that did ring a bell with me,’ said Elvis, staring out beyond the huddled group. ‘I was rather hoping to wake up from this nightmare but it seems that’s not to be and we are obviously not out of danger,’ he continued. ‘In fact we are in the middle of it and up against you know who! It  seems we’re going round in circles with this ‘whoever, whatever it is we’re up against. We’ve covered endless miles  of time and space chasing this ‘thing’ and each time we get close   we find ourselves transported somehow to another location and dare I say it, yes I will, another dimension  and time and frankly, I’m getting a tad pee’d off with it. Now we find ourselves in another outpost of humanity by the looks of things and for what, what is the purpose of all of this. I have a strong feeling we are being played with. I don’t mind telling you I’m more than open to suggestions.’ Elvis was clearly an unhappy bunny, frustration, despair oozing from every pore of his being.

The prevailing mood over the camp was one of heavy gloom, all remained silent, absorbing Elvis’s words. As they were thinking through what he had said Dog stiffened up, set his head facing due south of their present location and emitted a  low growl. George caught the alarm at almost the same instant as Dog.  

‘Someone or something is approaching from the south’, said George, in a level quite matter of fact  tone, all assumed crouched positions, making of themselves the smallest of targets possible while not knowing whether they were targets or not. Not a sound could be heard, not even from nature, all was silent, heavily silent. Then a shadowy figure appeared approaching their makeshift camp. The figure grew steadily bigger the nearer it got until it’s source was revealed. Before them stood a scrawny bedraggled figure  dressed in what once must have been tropical gear, from boots to Bush Hat. Everyone froze,  the visitor sharing the sheer surprise, not to mention disbelief, with the group round the camp fire. The silence was broken by the stranger.

‘I s-say, can anybody point me in the d-direction of S-Snowedon M-Mountain, only I s-seem to have a b-bit lost.’ As he spoke he did a quick retake of the scene before him but before he could speak again Elvis jumped in.

‘Bloody ell, is that really you Percy, what are you doing here?’

Capt. Mo was completely in the dark as to the identity of the newcomer but couldn’t fail to notice that Elvis seemed to know him. George wasn’t at all sure and Dog, having circled around the stranger known to Elvis as Percy, strolled off and lay down quite content that  there was no danger from this intrusion.

‘I m-might ask you the s-same question,  in fact I w-will. W-What are Y-You doing here?’

‘Percy  my lad you have the unique ability to find yourself in the strangest of places, times and if my memory serves me correctly – the wrong stories. And by the way, you owe me a crate of Jonny Walker’s Best.* 

‘Er if’  m-my m-memory s-serves me correct it’s m-more likely the other way round. It w-was m-me who lost a crate of JW’s  best. ‘F-furthermore, it’s y-you who needs to get his s-story right, mate!’ The confusion seemed to grow by the minute. (*Reference here to an earlier adventure from the Kwerk catalogue. Earlier or later, in this multiverse it’s hard to tell really.)

‘Come and sit down young man, grab a cup and we can  discuss this matter calmly for clearly one or both of you seem a little fraught. With these words George offered the newcomer a cup of hot cocoa  and they all sat down around the now dwindling fire. There was indeed much to talk about.

‘So perhaps if we all introduce ourselves  we can then get down to the business of what each one of us is faced with because I have a feeling none of this is coincidental,, we are all here for a reason. Now then, er, Percy Is it? I am George  and this here is my dog, DOG. There we have Cpt Mo and beside him,  Eric. You already appear to know Elvis.’ All eyes were on Percy.

Percy looked at each one sitting before him, aware of intense curiosity and a whiff of hostility emanating from one or all, he wasn’t sure. ‘W-well,’ he began,  I’m n-not s-sure I can clear anything up here because I have absolutely n-no idea why I am here. For this you need t-to ask your crazy m-machine.’

Elvis sat bolt upright. ‘My machine you say?! Explain yourself.’

‘N-now don’t get your k-knickers in a twist, I’m t-talking about that little red runabout of yours, you know, the one with attitude. It was her who p-practically ordered me into the p-passenger seat and brought me here, saying this is where I’ll find Snowedon Mountain, which she s-seemed to think I -need to t-take a l-look at. T-that’s as m-much as I know. I m-mean I was s-still recovering from the l-last f-fracas. And, I never did recover my beloved Scotch.’

Silence fell with a clunk, or it would have had it been solid. Elvis looked steadily at Percy, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with this close examination. Could it be? Thought Elvis, excitement bubbling  up inside of him, could this be his Rosie and had she actually sought him out? This was more  than he could have hope for and certainly something he was not aware of  programming into Rosie’s computer system, a system that had taken on many surprising attributes. He was almost afraid to ask Percy the question. He didn’t have to.

‘This is good  news and a stroke of luck,’ said Cpt Mo, ‘another pair of - - - er, set of  tyres? So whereabouts is the remarkable Rosie?’

‘Er, I left her b-back at the village, s-she insisted I did, yeah, s-she was q-quite adamant ab-bout that. T-there was s-something she had to do before she could j-join us. W-well, I didn’t  k-know then w-what she  m-meant b-by us because I c-certainly didn’t expect t-to see you. ’

‘Well you are most welcome, isn’t that right Elvis?’ As George spoke these words she turned to notice Elvis was no longer there. ‘Elvis?!’ Everyone looked at each other questioningly.

It took Elvis just five minutes to cover the distance between the camp of stones to the village where he immediately began his search for his beloved Rosie. He started at the village garage though why start there he didn’t know but he had to start somewhere. He searched the entire village but there was no sign of his beloved Rosie. Crestfallen he made his way back to camp where the others anxiously awaited his return. Dog beat him back to camp No-one had noticed him leave, except for George who was well tuned into Dog psyche and knew he had a good reason to disappear when he did, He had followed Elvis, ensuring he returned safely. Mission accomplished and, something else, which Dog shared with George on his arrival back to camp. The information Dog imparted to his mistress was made known to the others, it was not the right time.

Upon reaching the camp Elvis sat down heavily and sunk his head into his hands, not saying a word. ‘W-well, was I right?’ asked Percy, slightly unnerved by the manner in which Elvis had returned. ‘S-she was there, w-wasn’t she?’ He went on. ‘I m-mean I d-didn’t get here b-by my s-self!’

Just then George sidled up to Elvis and whispered in his ear, ‘Can I have a word, my friend, in private?’

‘Whatever.’ Uttered a by now despondent once super sleuth, dreaded by all law breakers.

After George had spoken with Elvis he seemed to perk up somewhat, reinvigorated even. ‘Right then,’ he announced, ‘there’s no time to waste, we’ve clearly been gathered here for a purpose and that purpose is to bring this whole nightmare to an end.’ He was bubbling again, more like the E. P. Kwerk of old, nay, of legend. ‘Up there,’ pointing to Mount Snowedon, ‘we will find all the answers to our mystery and a solution to an annoying problem and, I make no apology for repeating myself if I do. We break camp and leave immediately as there is no time to waste.’

Each one looked at the other and Mo said, ‘He did, didn’t he?’

‘Y’-yes,’ said Percy, ‘b-but he did apologise beforehand.’

‘True enough’ added Eric, staring into space, wishing he were somewhere else right now. 

And so it was that this irregular group of individuals set off towards the peak of Mount Snowedon, which loomed ahead of them shrouded in an ominous dark cloud, one that was only too familiar to this group. They were heading for something which they knew in their very beings promised to be stupendous and have repercussions stretching far beyond them and the space and time and dimension they currently inhabited. What was to follow would be remembered and talked about for all time, like The Alamo, Moby Dick, Napoleon’s bunions. Well maybe not the whale, he was fiction after all. They had been climbing for only fifteen minutes when Elvis turned to the rest and said.

‘Now a word of caution. We are up against an old foe here, cunning, sly, evil itself and furthermore, not at all nice so tread carefully, keep your eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary. We shall stop for anything to examine it, taking no chances, expect the unexpected, as a great prophet once said. They all looked at one another, shrugged their shoulders and continued on up the mountain, Dog leading the way. At one point he wondered off ahead only to return carrying something in his mouth. That something turned out to be an M.O.D issue map of the terrain upon which they stood. To Eric this meant little if anything, to Percy who had served in the military for a month knew it meant at least some poor squaddie was in trouble for losing M.O.D. property in such a way but, for Cpt Mo, Elvis and George this was their first significant indication of something untoward afoot. Elvis turned to George and said.

‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this.’

‘Not you, too.’ She answered.

‘What do you think it means?’ Asked Cpt Mo, who had been walking a few steps behind up until that moment and had noticed obvious concern on the faces of  his companions at the discovery of this insignificant looking find.

It was then that George decided to share what she had gleaned from Dog earlier that morning. ‘It means that we are on the right track to catch up to KRUMP EXPEDITION, a team of scientist sent out to investigate strange goings on at the top of this mountain and they were accompanied by a group of Special Ops troops as protection. They climbed Snowedon three months ago and not a word of them has been heard of since. Rosie and Dog are convinced that this is the reason we are all here.’ There was one of those stunned silences following George’s revelation. 

‘And you learned about all this exactly when?’ asked Eric, who was disliking this trip with every step they took, even more so after this little nugget of information.

‘We knew about the expedition from the moment Dog returned from following me to the village.’ Elvis had recovered from his earlier shock by now, enough to be able to tell the others and fact that he had been astounded by on first hearing but that both he and George agreed that it was perhaps best to say nothing until things became a bit clearer. 

S-so how did you find out all of this from Dog, or is that a s-stupid question?’ Asked Percy.

‘Dog told them, obviously.’ Added a bored sounding Eric, forgetting how he had previously been privy to a confidentiality imparted to him by Dog directly.

‘T-Thought it w-was a stupid question.’ Snapped Percy sarcastically. 

Ignoring this  George continued. ‘Dog met up with Rosie in the village and Rosie told him of the expedition and that he mustn’t let this be know until the time was right. The reason Elvis didn’t see Rosie is because was undergoing a change in appearance at the time of his arrival and so the time wasn’t right.’

‘So, the time is right is it, time for what, exactly?’ Even Cpt Mo was showing signs of irritation due to having been kept in the dark up to this time, was he not to be trusted now, was he, he thought. He felt more than a little disappointed.

‘Now listen up, all of you. What we face is like nothing you could ever imagine, we could be taken out of the game, any one of us, at any time, without warning. We must stay sharp if we hope to survive.’

When Elvis finished Eric looked distinctly table cloth white, rather fitting considering his career. Percy had just simply fainted. Cpt Mo looked Elvis and then George in the eye and said in a quiet controlled voice, ‘The five of us?’

‘And Dog, don’t forget Dog, we’re six in all.’ Said Elvis, almost apologetically. ‘Believe me,’ he went on, ‘from what I’ve seen he is worth an army, is that dog, an army.’ At this Dog sidled up to Elvis and licked his hand before moving off to be by George’s side, where he belonged.

The intrepid party set off at a slow but steady pace up the mountain, each aware that this could be the last adventure they would have, a very sobering thought, certainly for young Eric who hadn’t had a drop of comforter for at least twenty-four hours. This was not like him at all and was certainly not a voluntary action on his part on this occasion. As they climbed the mist gradually thickened until they could barely see one another. Elvis called a halt at this point, a growing sense of unease filling his entire being, he sensed something up ahead and wanted to reassess their tactics. At this point Eric, quite out of character, brushed past Elvis saying that he was sick of this pussy footing about and that he was anxious to be getting back to his kitchen and have done with all this nonsense. Before anyone could stop him he was off into the thickening mist soon lost from sight. Dog was immediately after him. In a matter of minutes they were both seen emerging from the mist Eric being lead, very firmly, by Dog, Eric’s sleeve securely in the vice like grip of Dog’s teeth.

‘What the hell were you thinking about back there, young man?’ Elvis demanded.

‘Just got impatient, that’s all, besides, I made a discovery. I found an encampment, a military one at that. Furthermore, it was in a clear area, no mist around at all. The way ahead is clear, see? There being  more than a touch of belligerence in his manner and he was clearly agitated. 

George sidled up to Elvis and whispered, ‘Can I have a word?’

Intrigued Elvis walked to the edge of the group, making sure they were out of earshot and turned to George with a questioning raised right eyebrow, ‘You have my attention.’

‘It’s a trap,’ said George. ‘They are expecting us and have been all along, since way before any of us could have realised.’

‘You know this because?’ asked Elvis.

‘Earlier, Dog discovered the bodies of the Krump Expedition, military personnel and all. This was on our first day.’

‘I think it would be a good idea if you and I and Dog here came to an understanding. A little closer working together would be good. No more  oh by the way moments.’

George looked at Elvis thoughtfully. ‘I do apologise, my friend, I’m still adjusting to this team work business, I’ve worked alone for so long, me  and Dog.’

‘Yeah,’ said Elvis, feeling a little uncomfortable for reasons beyond him at that moment. ‘Okay,’ he continued, a little easier, ‘We need to move with extreme caution and we need to arm ourselves.’ With this he turned back to then group and Capt. Mo in particular. ‘Capt., did you manage to bring along that box of goodies I asked you about  before we started this climb?, it’s time we opened the box!’

Eric and Percy were sent off back to their first campsite where DUKW was parked up and from its hold they dragged out a large metal box which they duly hauled back to where they’d left George, Mo, Elvis and Dog. Inside said box was an array of weapons enough to  cover most eventualities. Each took the weapon of his or her choice and with that they were ready to proceed up the mountain. Eric didn’t really have his mind fully on the job in hand for he was busy planning his new kitchen for when this was all over and done with. Being so preoccupied he had wandered a little ahead of the rest and so was the first to reach the clearing he’d discovered earlier. All was pretty much  as it had been then first time, clear of mist, in fact just clear and silent, it shouldn’t have been silent. The group behind Eric stopped just on the edge of the clearing, exchanging looks that said more than words. Then the silence was  broken by an innocuous sounding ‘CRACK!’ It wasn’t a spectacular sound,, not loud, not even dramatic but it did have a dramatic effect.

Eric was thinking about where in his new kitchen he should site the fridge, he wasn’t happy with the old arrangement at all. ‘Should I put it over by the cabinet?’ he mused. ‘Or maybe….Ooh what was that?’ Something had got his attention. Not only had it got his attention but it had spun him around to face the rest of the group. ‘Bugger!’ he thought, now’s not then time to suffer heartburn, me pills are back  at camp.’ He  realised he wasn’t going to be able to go to collect them as he had by this time sunk down  to his knees from where he could just make out through his fading eyes the ground in front  him growing redder and redder. Within seconds Dog’s teeth had a vice like grip on Eric’s collar as he dragged the limp figure back towards the out perimeter of the clearing where the others were busying themselves dodging bullets which were coming at them from out of the now thinning mist.  As the mist cleared Elvis slowly raised his head just enough to see what was ahead and who or what was throwing so much hot lead at them. Silence fell upon the scene but it wasn’t a welcomed silence, more of a threatening one. Advancing slowly towards Elvis and his party was a line abreast of tall Lupine figures, broad chested, ridiculously thin arms  quite out of proportion to the body and bowed-legs, which wasn’t the strangest detail about them as much as the Doc Martins on their feet. Each held a large vicious looking fire arm with still glowing red smoking barrel. This was not a welcoming party from any diplomatic corps for sure, of this Kwerk was pretty certain.  It was also immediately obvious to all concerned that they were hopelessly out numbered, quite the tightest spot Kwerk had been in for some considerable time. The advancing line came to  standstill, the silence  grew ever thicker with menace. Then, from out of the mist came into view a figure of a man, there was something about this figure that struck a familiar chord with Kwerk. As yet  there were no discernible features visible because of the distance and the mist but Kwerk recognised something and it gave him an uneasy feeling. The build was there, the gait was just so, a slight wallow from side to side as he walked, probably due to the rotund nature of his build. It couldn’t possibly be, he thought, totally unthinkable. The figure drew nearer, stopping just fifty yards  behind the line of heavily breathing, nostrils flaring wolverine ensemble spread out facing Kwerk and his party. The figure spoke.

‘Glad you could make it, Agent Kwerk. It has taken so long and you have tried my patience so much, far more than I have ever allowed anyone to do. But, you are here at last.’

‘Chief?!’ He couldn’t help himself, he was so shocked and for a few moments just stood staring in disbelief.

‘Well, Agent Kwerk, there’s nothing wrong with your powers of recognition at least. I’m not sure about your powers of deduction though, you seem to have lost something there, eh?!’

‘B-but what are you doing here, I don’t understand, I was going  to send a detailed report as soon as I could.’ He was jabbering away making no sense here and he knew it, well aware of having been  completely fooled.  This was a feeling he did not relish much, a major blow to his already fragile ego, an ego that had been the size of a planet but now a pea would be almost proud to own  it.

‘You, my extra-special-secret agent and super buffoon have no idea how much I hate you, you have made me older before my time always promising that and I quote,  ‘I’m on it, Chief,’ You  couldn’t be on the next page if it was up to you! You’re an aggravating idiot, do know that, an absolutely aggravating bumbling idiot and I have been looking  forward to this moment for a very long time. Man you have no idea how much I hate you and that is why I am going to do the universe a great service by wiping any trace of you from every history there is or is to be.’ 

Elvis was sweating profusely now but not as bad, he noticed, as the figure spitting out such a venomous verbal assault at him.  In fact his Chief looked like he was about to explode, so  much so that the veins in his neck matched his forearms. Perhaps, he thought, if he could keep him talking  enough he may just do that but then this wasn’t likely was it, was his second more rational thought. 

‘How could you not figure it out?’ Chief was in full mocking mode now.

‘You mean?’ Elvis began.

‘Yes, I gained ‘The  Power of the Ringpull’ almost from the moment you got on the case and I  have to say that I am astounded you never caught on, even with all the impossible co-incidences turning up. Man, you are slower that I thought.’ Chief was enjoying himself now, having the object of his hate at his mercy like this. In fact  Mo, George and Percy were all rooted to the spot in disbelief as the full meaning of what Chief’s words dawned on them in. They were all face to face at last with source of all their problems  and that very source had the well and truly cold!

‘Why are you doing this, what about your years of loyal service to your country?’ Elvis  knew he was clutching at straws but he had to play for time though what good he thought it would do at this time wasn’t even worth considering. No, it was looking very much like this was it, bugger, he thought, such an ignominious ending for someone of his stature. Hang on, he wasn’t getting delirious was he, surely not.

The line of lupine figures were now standing in a more menacing fashion now, already beginning to raise their weapons, just awaiting their leader’s signal.  

‘So, my fine super-hero friend it is time to call it a day, as they say, besides, I’m growing tired now and  bored, oh yes, bored, that’s it.’ His voice stopped abruptly and his whole demeanour seemed to change from super confident conqueror of all before him to someone not quite as sure as he had been only seconds before. Across his face, writ large, was a question. Where had that come from at this time, the time of his triumph? Chief was uneasy, what had changed, he  still had his most hated enemy at his mercy, quite helpless, rats in a trap so why the hesitation. In no time at all this air off uncertainty spread right along the line of armed beast confronting Kwerk and his party like wild fire.

Answered questions, realisation, reality, disappointment, disillusionment, despair, and the loss of a belief in Santa hit Chief and his entourage like a Balti from Hell.  Everything happened so quickly no individual could fully comprehend what was happening at all. A searing white light lit up the whole scene, a light so intense it burned everything it touched. This was accompanied by sheets of all consuming white, red and yellow hot flame which caught Chief and his henchmen, er wolves, er,  yes well, they all copped it full on. Accompanying this inferno was a thunderous terrifying roar straight from the bowls of the underworld itself. Everything in front of Kwerk and his party  was consumed in seconds by this howling inferno. And then all was silent again, this time it was a silence of peace and calm. Though the air carried whiffs of smoke and the odd specks of ash it was calm. Slowly Kwerk raised his head from  the rock he’d thrown himself behind when the fire and light show started, he was followed in this act by the others, Cpt Mo, George and Percy who was doing an imitation par excellence of a bleached white  bed sheet. They all exchanged glances but not a word was spoken as they surveyed the scene around them. It was George who noticed it first, a strange shape just to the right of them and in line where Chief and his thugs stood. She nudged Kwerk’s elbow while pointing to the unfamiliar shape. As the smoke cleared the shape took on a more recognisable form, recognisable but different at the same time.

 There  before them, just silhouettes at first until the smoke cleared were two distinct shapes, one immediately recognisable as Dog standing alongside an unfamiliar shape, that of a black compact saloon car, the odd thing about it being tendrils of smoke rising from openings just below the headlights. For a moment no one moved until Dog bounded towards them, almost knocking a delighted George to the ground as he leaped up to lick her face. All tension disappeared  right there in that moment.

‘Am I glad to see you, you, you dog you.’ Shouted Elvis, wiping away a fly that had got stuck somehow in his eye. Dog stopped drowning George long enough to wink at Elvis,  or was there something in his eye too.

‘Bit close there, Skip. Sorry ‘bout that. Still, all’s well eh?’ For a moment Elvis froze, then turned towards the car and wearing a quizzical expression and just said.

‘Rosie, is that you?’

‘Just thought I’d slip into a sexy little black number for you. Hope you don’t mind. I girl needs to change every so often.’

‘Those damn flies’, Elvis said as he wiped his eyes a little more vigorously. Then a million and one questions leaped into his head, which for someone in such a delicate state as he was could have proved fatal. All that could escape his mouth was.

‘W-what happened?’

‘Oh, contrary  to popular  belief and Hollywood  hype no silver bullets or  such like were needed. We just sent that which had come from the flames back to whence it came.’

‘No, no, not just now, what happened to you. I mean, you’re different?’

‘You don’t approve, do you.. I was afraid of this.’

No, no,  no. I mean, yes, I do approve. In fact I love the new look. No, I mean, what happened?’

‘Ah, now then,, it’s really quite simple, depending upon what version of reality you subscribe to.’

‘Rosie, much as I love you, don’t get smart. You know what they say?’

‘No one likes a  smart a - - - ‘

‘Enough, Rosie, enough.’ Then he threw himself on the bonnet (hood for our American cousins) and gave up fighting the flies and other stuff that filled his eyes. ‘Rosie,’ he whispered, ‘any other changes I ought to know about?’

‘Whatever do you mean Skipper?,  purred Rosie.