Eros had decided a week ago that he was comfortable enough to walk straight into Loki’s townhome without knocking, and Loki never corrected this action. So, on the night of the gala, Eros glided straight through the door without pause, until he mindlessly went to hang his coat on the rack, and his coat fell straight to the floor in a heap. The rack was gone. The youthful god grumbled and picked his coat up off the ground.

“Loki!” Eros called.

Loki’s voice called back, “Upstairs.”

Eros ascended the stairs, “Hypnos moved the coat rack again!”

“I know. I thought about buying a second one.”

Eros rounded the corner to see Loki in the process of buttoning his shirt, his tie draped over his shoulders.

“But, then I thought… fucking with him is so much more entertaining.” He flashed Eros a wicked smile.

Eros pulled his brows together when he saw Loki was having trouble with his buttons. Eros offered, “Let me get that.”

Loki’s arms dropped in exaggerated defeat.

Eros reached up to Loki’s collar, and Loki snorted, “Are you sure you don’t need a step ladder?”

Eros glared and nodded, “Maybe you won’t be such a giant dick if I choose to bite it off next time, yeah?” He smiled, patted Loki on the chest, and commenced fastening the buttons.

Loki readjusted his shoulders, cleared his throat, and hazarded, “You’d need a step ladder for that too.”

Eros nodded, and when he tied Loki’s tie, he choked him with it. Loki let out a small gurgle before Eros asked, “Too tight?”

“Not at all,” Loki gasped, bringing his hand to his throat. He loosened the knot. “Ugh. You tied a Windsor. I prefer a Pratt.”

Eros had moved to sit on the trunk at the foot of the bed. “You look better with a Windsor, and Pratt knots are for prats.” Eros blinked.

Loki shrugged, and began looking madly around the room. “Now, where the devil is my jacket?” He stormed off towards the closet. “I just had it!”

Eros suspiciously eyed the suit jacket laying on the trunk right next to him. “Loki?”

From inside the closet Loki returned with an aggravated, “Yes?”

Eros handed him the jacket, cautiously. “It was next to me on the trunk.”

The giant sighed and snatched the thing from Eros’s hand.

Eros frowned and felt Loki’s aggravation, and grumbling, and sharpness within himself. As the giant slipped his arms into his suit jacket and shrugged it on, Eros felt everything Loki was feeling: The process took too long. The damn thing fit too tight. The arm was slightly twisted. He needed a stiff drink and to smoke before they left to go to this god awful party, filled with awful gods who would make the experience perfectly awful.

Eros turned from Loki and slipped out the door.

Loki threw back his head and kicked himself for ripping away the jacket the way he did. Eros hadn’t done anything wrong, and didn’t deserve the brunt end of his… his… whatever the hell was wrong with him.

He sat on the trunk and ran his hand over his face. Then he groaned at his stubble. He had forgotten to shave.

Eros popped back in the room, having grabbed one of the pipes and a glass of scotch from the library. He offered them to Loki without a word.

The giant marveled at the Greek god for just a moment before Eros thrust the items into his hands.

Eros sat down next to him.

First, Loki threw back the burning scotch, despite the fact it was for sipping not gulping. Then, he waved a hand over his pipe, simultaneously filling it with tobacco and lighting it. Lastly, he waved a hand over his stubble to clear it.

He preferred tamping his pipe and shaving the hard way, but Loki didn’t find it hard, he found it ritualistic and meditative.

He pulled in a big cloud of smoke and held it in his mouth until he could feel its effects, and he let it go. Finally, he was relaxing.

Eros had made himself small next to Loki, and finally felt safe enough to say, “I’m scared too.”

Loki spat back out the rest of his smoke. “Scared? I’m not scared. I’m Viking. We don’t get scared.”

Eros pressed his lips together.

Loki blurted out a laugh. “Scared of what?”

“I don’t know… of what Odin and Thor will say?” Eros’s eyes went wide, “Or my mother.”

Loki blurted out another laugh. “Please. I’m used to the gods demonizing everything I do. I’m the universe’s scapegoat.”

“Just because you’re used to it doesn’t mean that you enjoy it.”

Loki put his forehead in his hand. “I hope our ex-wives aren’t there.”

Eros grimaced, “Same. I mean, this is different for me. I’m a stereotypical playboy and the god of homoeroticism, so I’m only worried that they aren’t going to take this seriously. Like… typical Eros. ”

Loki just threw up his hands dramatically and shrugged.

Eros continued, “You, well, I mean at least the Greeks sometimes approved of homosexual activities, but your family... “

“Maybe they won’t be there.” Loki began, “I mean, this is a Collector’s gala after all. All the cool trinkets my family has came from me. Because, I tricked some dwarves into making them. They won’t even be there, and if they are- no matter what I do they will always think of me as cowardly Loki.”

“You’re not a coward.”

“Well, Thor would disagree-”

“Not bothered. Let him.” Eros shrugged. “Mjolnir can’t stand up to my sharp wit. I’ll shoot him in his Achilles with my arrow and make him fall in love with an ass.”

Loki grinned. “Promise? Can I help? I’m very good at getting people to shoot other people with arrows, you know.”

Eros looked up at him through his lashes. “Sure. You can help.”

They both laughed, carrying on this way for as long as they could.

Eros stood and faced Loki to loosen and straighten the giant’s tie. “I actually liked the stubble.”

Loki reached out and kissed him hard on the mouth, but he pulled away slowly and tenderly.

Eros pressed his lips together, savoring the taste of tobacco and scotch Loki left behind. “You know… the gala starts in fifteen minutes and… we should be fashionably late...”

Loki blinked, “Thanatos would kill me. I’m his rock at these functions. Believe it or not, I keep him sane. He has a very short fuse. The last time I wasn’t there to hold his hand The Black Plague happened.”

Eros pouted, “Why do you think I want to be fashionably late?”

Loki squinted, “For appearance’s sake?”

“Try again.” He looked Loki up and down through his lashes, while biting his lower lip.

“Oh! Oh…” Loki’s eyes went wide.

“Right, I really don’t get how you miss what I’m putting down like all the time.”

“I don’t get it either.” Loki shook his head and added, “But, but… I’m afraid I can’t do that to Thanatos. And, if we wait until after the party we’ll have a reason to leave early.”

“Or we can arrive late and leave early,” Eros offered suggestively.

Loki grinned. “At that point we might as well not show up at all.”

They both gave this significant consideration.

Simultaneously, they both sighed and rolled their eyes.

“No. No, we have to go,” Eros pouted.

Loki groaned like an old tree when he rose from the trunk. “Do we have to?”

“Yes. We have to. Come on.” Eros begrudgingly took Loki’s hand and dragged him from the townhome.

They pulled up to the event venue in Loki’s classic Bentley. There was a line of cars in front of them, and one by one people in suits and cocktail dresses stepped from the vehicles, which were swiftly taken away by valets.

At their turn, Eros and Loki stepped from the Bentley and approached the endless stairs leading to the lit-up, columned building. There was a small crowd of bored reporters standing behind a red rope, flashing cameras, and taking notes, and yammering incoherently.

“Well, are you ready?” asked Loki.

“Yes,” Gulped Eros. “It’s not a big deal. We were overreacting. Are you okay?”

“Fine, yes. Fine.”

The sound of a revving engine and squealing tires caused them to turn. Loki’s Bentley was hardly out of the way when a red Viper slammed to a halt in its spot.

Hypnos jumped out of the hot rod and tossed his keys to the valet. “Not one scratch on Sasha, you hear me? If I find one scratch I’ll give you nightmares for six months!”

The valet nodded and hurried to the car.

“Oh, dear Lord.” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Oi! Wait up! Eros, you’re looking… well, that is a look. New cologne? No. That’s just Loki’s musk all over you. It suits you.” He peered heavily into Eros’s eyes.

“I appreciate it,” Eros coyly smiled back.

Loki interjected, “Hypnos, why are you here? Do you really call yourself a collector?”

Hypnos scoffed, “You call what you do collecting? Because the rest of us call what you do hoarding. And I collect dreams, baby. Subconscious secrets. People pay a lot of dough for that kind of intel. But, don’t get me wrong, Thanny would never invite me to this sort of shindig. I’m crashing.” He popped the collar to his leather trench coat and posed provocatively for the cameras. Those pictures would be posted in the papers the next day with both Loki and Eros in the background, looking on in perplexed amusement.

Hypnos flashed them a grin over his shoulder, “All the cool kids crash parties. See you poofs inside.”

Hypnos continued posing for the journalists, who suddenly turned into the paparazzi from Hollywood dreams.

Eros and Loki stepped into the grand hall of the venue. The building was illuminated by crystal chandeliers cascading from the muraled ceilings. Servers dashed around in red tailcoats carrying trays of champagne and hors d’oeuvres.

Neither of them were struck by the grandeur of the event. An event such as this was a normal occurrence in the realm of the gods, and the pair wasted no time being distracted by the vapid glamor and glitz. They headed straight towards the cocktail reception, held in a barroom off the main showfloor. It was more darkly lit, and it was cluttered with round tables surrounded by collectors of all races and sects.

They both paused just beyond the archway to scan the room and assess the catastrophe they were in for. They saw Shmeaglebobenzoar and The Lizard King, Xepherus Xypherus. Morgan le Fay and Queen Mab were attached at the hip while making their rounds. The two ladies were speaking with King Vollmar, the current Dwarf King.

Loki grimaced and averted his eyes. He had a long history with the dwarves, and they still had several warrants out for his head.

There were dragons, demons, faeries, and angels, but surprisingly few gods.

Eros and Loki gave each other a small nod before entering further into the bar.

“Just because they aren’t here now doesn’t mean they won’t be later.” Eros pointed out.

“Yes, but by that point I hope to be drunker than a sailor, and have no recollection of conversing with them when I come ’round.”

A deep voice hissed, “Loki!” And Loki jumped like a frightened cat.

Eros rolled his eyes at the man in the white suit towering over Loki. Eros hated how Loki would literally jump when Death called.

Death was looking at his pocket watch. “You are fifteen minutes late. You are always here on time and this time when I actually need you, you’re late! Why?”

Eros stepped up to Loki, who was making a face and waving his hands around trying to explain, but he wasn’t actually saying anything.

“Thanatos,” Eros smiled, oozing condescending charm, “it’s a pleasure to see you. Loki was late because of silly ol’ me. You recall that we were arriving together? And I have to apologize for keeping him from you for an extra fifteen minutes. I had him quite… tied up… in the bedroom, you see.”

Thanatos glared down at Eros. “Of course you did. Loki, may I speak to you for a moment?”

“Of course.” He walked away with Thanatos, apologizing to Eros with more facial expressions and hand gestures as he went.

Eros sighed and shook his head as they walked off.

“Left you for his other boyfriend, did he?” Eros leapt and saw Hypnos right next to him, handing him a drink.

Eros rolled his eyes and took the glass.

“He will always choose Thanny over us. He likes to be the voice whispering into the ear of the big guy. Just ask Thor and Odin. It’s how he gets his rocks off.”

“You’re being incredibly rude.” Eros threw back his drink.

“But you know it’s true.” Hypnos draped a heavy arm around Eros’s shoulder. “But when daddy’s out for the day, Desire and Dream get to play. Come on, let’s go get pissed.” Hypnos pulled him to the bar.

***

Death had pulled Loki past the ballroom and all of the artifacts on display, and took him to an office down a darkened hallway.

“I really shouldn’t leave Eros for long. This function is sort of a date for us.”

Death remarked flatly, “How adorable.” He went straight to his desk and pulled out his small decanter of scotch. He poured them both a drink. “I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about your romantic life at the moment. I found it, Loki.” He handed him the glass. “I found a weapon to destroy the Fates.”

Loki raised his eyebrows. He took the drink and sat down. “Here at the gala?”

“No.” Death spat out the word and gave Loki a scolding look. “I have it. In my basement.”

“Which basement?”

“In one of my mansions. Look. That doesn’t matter. What matters is I have found an anomaly, which shouldn’t exist, which means it is in existence outside of the web of Fate.”

Loki gave him a look, begging him to continue.

Death ran his fingers through his blond hair. “It doesn’t have a death date. It is truly immortal like myself. The Fates by no means would ever allow this thing to exist if they knew about it,” he paced behind the desk, “which means they don’t know about it, and it is immensely powerful.”

He held his strained, gripping hands out in front of Loki. Death was smiling like a maniac.

Loki squinted an eye. “Well, what is it?”

“It’s a boy. Well, he’s obviously not a boy-”

“It’s alive? Meaning it is not an it, but a he? And you have him locked in your basement?”

“It’s the only place strong enough to hold him.”

“Do you hear yourself?” Loki crossed his ankle over his knee and laughed, “You are holding a being as a prisoner in your basement?”

Death gave him a mocking look, that indicated that this was nothing and as Death, he had done far worse.

“Well, not just a being,” Loki continued, “but a boy.”

Thanatos snapped his fingers and pointed at Loki, “Yes a powerful, immortal boy, which means he is not a boy he’s a…” He waved a hand for Loki to fill in the blank.

Loki blinked and said in a small voice, “A god?”

“A god!” Death confirmed. “Unregistered, unnamed, unknown. He doesn’t even know what he is! I tried to poke around in his brain, and the blocks in there shoved me, me, out! I flew into the bleeding wall! Me!”

“A god?” Loki said again in amazement. “A new fucking god!” He jumped from the seat and began laughing.

Death even joined him in their celebratory laughter for their new discovery. New gods didn’t just happen. Some might rebrand and be born-again and adapt to the changing universe, but even the youngest of gods were thousands of years old. The Fates hadn’t allowed new gods to be created, due to the threat they might pose, as they claimed, to the balance of things.

“This is incredible!” Loki cried, and both men moved to their original positions.

“And the Fates have no idea! If they had, he wouldn’t be out and about, hiding in a New Bedlam gutter!”

“No! They’d have him in chains in Tartarus, that’s for sure!”

“Loki,” Death said in a low tone, “he is powerful. I haven’t even seen the depths of his power, but to be able to block his mind and his magick in the way that he did- truly remarkable.”

Loki’s curiosity perked up, “But why would he do that?”

“I don’t know,” Death took a swig from his scotch, “but I’m going to find out.”

This remark didn’t satisfy Loki, and he began to itch. “But, Thanatos,” he sighed, “you can’t keep him to experiment on and use as a weapon.”

“Why the hell not?” Death was lighting a cigarette with a zippo. “Gods collect people all the time. You say you collect people all the time. Tell me why I can’t for the free will of the universe?”

“I don’t collect people like that. I either blackmail them, or make them my friend, or sometimes both. What exactly is your plan?”

“To unlock his god power, and rip it out of him. It’s not like he wants it anyway.”

Loki cleared his throat, and laughed preemptively to what he was going to say, “But, Death, you’ll kill him!”

“It’s my job. I have to kill children all the damn time. It’s the worst part of my job, really, but death will be better than what the Fates will do to him if they ever find him out.”

Loki made to talk, but Thanatos interrupted.

“Let’s get you back to your boyfriend.”

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

“Loki,” Death’s eyes grew stern, “that boy’s power will be mine if it’s the last thing I do. He’s putting up a fight, a big one, but I will win.”

Loki nodded. There was still time to talk Thanatos out of it, but that would have to wait for a different night.

Loki made his way back to the bar, and saw Hypnos and Eros chatting it up. They were both laughing and practically glowing, in the way only two long-time lovers could, and Loki wasn’t jealous. He smiled, happy to see Eros warming and opening up to someone. It meant there was hope, a chance that one day he could make Eros’s eyes glitter the same way.

He watched on in awe as Eros wove his spell. He was a snare dressed in honey, and Loki was falling into his trap from halfway across the room, but the conversation he just had with Thanatos kept him from sinking further.

Loki shook his head and approached Desire and Dream. He cleared his throat at the appropriate distance, and both of them looked up. Eros looked embarrassed and a little ashamed, so Loki flashed him a reassuring smile.

“Do you two need another minute alone?” He said teasingly and winked, “I can get you a hotel room.”

Hypnos looked Loki up and down, “Or maybe you could join us?”

“Another time. There’s actually some information I’ve learned that Eros will be very interested in hearing.”

“Ah. That’s my cue then.” Hypnos stood. He finished his drink, dipped into his pockets and produced a handful of colorful pills wrapped in clear twisted foil, as if they were vintage hard candies. He offered them to Eros. “For the road.”

Eros’s face lit up and Hypnos deposited them into his hand.

Hypnos leaned in to say, “Don’t let Loki take the little green ones.”

“Why?” Eros asked.

He flashed a taunting, challenging grin and waved as he walked away.

Loki smiled, “So about the little green ones…” He reached out to take one, but Eros shoved them in his pocket.

“His reverse psychology doesn’t work on me,” Eros said smugly.

Loki deadpanned, “Then you’re missing out on a lot of fun. Listen.”He peered around the room, making sure no one of consequence could overhear him, and he sat down where Hypnos had been, “Thanatos told me he has a thing, which can destroy the you-know-whos.”

Eros became immediately indignant. “Him? After everything I’ve done over the last few weeks! Crate after crate. Suffocating in dust. Archiving, researching, indexing, hand-cramping, and he is the one who finds the answer?” He pouted and turned to his drink.

Loki grimaced and said as gently as possible, “Well, to be fair, he has been in the game a bit longer than you.”

Eros sighed in reluctant agreement.

“But there are multiple issues with it,” Loki added.

“Is it broken like all the rest of the useful artifacts?”

“Maybe,” Loki mused, “but, it’s a boy… in his basement.”

Eros perked up, “A what?”

“We’ll talk about it more in depth later. The fact of the matter is… we can’t let him use it- him.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because it will kill him. Not just the boy in question, but Death. It will kill him.”

Eros replied snarkily, “It will kill Death?”

“Not actually kill, but he’ll never forgive himself for it. He has a soft spot for kids.”

Eros sighed. Once again, another unusable weapon to add to the arsenal, but this one had to be fed. “Who is it?” Eros asked.

“We’ll discuss it later. But for now,” Loki waved down the bartender, “let us drink and be merry, because neither of our families are here!”

The bartender set the glasses down in front of them.

Eros raised his glass, “Wishful thinking, darling. Wishful thinking.”