Vivyka knocked on the door of the two-story cream-colored house. While she waited, she pulled the long layers of her brown hair back, making her bracelets jingle, then slid in a clip to hold the messy bun. The afternoon sun was hot. Though the heat was nothing to Seaport, it was warm enough for a tank top, short skirt, and sandals—all in black, as usual.
It was Lotus, Sera’s mother, who answered the door. “Hi,” she said brightly.
“Hi,” Vivyka returned, then asked, noticing her outfit, “Doing some gardening?” Lotus always wore her dark brown pants, a t-shirt, and her long, straight copper hair back in a low ponytail when she worked in the yard.
“I was just headed out back,” Lotus confirmed. Guessing the reason for the unexpected visit, she added, “Sera isn’t home right now. She went somewhere with her father.”
“I know,” Vivyka replied. Sera had said she was going with Cael and Falcon to visit a sick friend in Glendale almost a week ago. “How long will they be gone, anyway?”
“Sera’s staying for a bit longer, but Cael and Falcon should be home tonight.”
“Oh good, Julia’s been nuts.”
Lotus smiled gently. “Well, you know how she can be. She can’t even sleep when Falcon goes to the annual guild meetings in Oraunt, and he’s only gone for two nights. This is the longest they’ve ever been apart. It’s hard on her.”
“And with Tess leaving home just a few weeks ago...” Vivyka put in.
“Yes. Learning to let go of your daughter is a difficult thing. Julia’s got a lot of emotional stress right now.”
Vivyka nodded. “Well, I better let you get those flowers planted before Cael gets home,” she told her with a chuckle and a nod to the new plants sitting in a small wooden box nearby. “Though I thought you weren’t supposed to be planting any more.”
It had been an argument between her and her husband for years. Every time he left to visit his family or anything, she would plant more flowers. Their yard was overflowing with them, but Cael got her to agree not to plant any more so that he still had room to spar. She was just as bad with the indoor plants—she had so many that it always smelled like a florist’s shop. Cael wanted all plants to be outside, growing wild as they should be. He thought putting nature in a pot and keeping it in your house was absurd, but Lotus insisted on having her flowers.
“Yes, well…” Lotus looked a bit sheepish now. “I don’t have this kind, and I found a small area off to the side that won’t be in his way. He won’t even notice.”
Vivyka smiled. There was no way Cael wouldn’t notice—he noticed everything—but she said nothing of it. “Well, I just wanted to see if Sera still had my old journal.”
“Why would she have it?”
“I had it just before I moved to Seaport,” Vivyka explained. “Remember, I stayed here for a week before? I’m pretty sure I left it here.”
“Can I ask what made you want it now? It’s been over three years, hasn’t it?”
“I don’t know,” Vivyka said with a shrug. “Feeling nostalgic, I suppose.”
Lotus nodded. “Well, go on up.” She motioned to the stairs on the left side of the room.
“Thanks.”
While Lotus headed to the backyard, Vivyka made her way upstairs and through the first door on the left. Sera’s very cozy bedroom was decorated in white with bits of light pink. The floral paintings and lace curtains fit her sweet-natured friend. The decor here was the opposite of Vivyka’s room—black-painted furniture and deep red materials. The contrast made her think of how she had tried to be more like Sera when they were younger. Vivyka had even worn long sundresses and had a couple of flower pictures of her own. Truth be told, it wasn’t who she was, even at the time. She didn’t know if the person she was now was really her either—Seaport had changed her greatly—but she was more comfortable with her style now.
Finding the journal proved to be an easy task: Sera had it tucked neatly into her bookcase, right beside her own. Vivyka took it out and turned it over in her hands. The brown leather cover was etched with flowers and had Vivyka’s name in the center. The journal had been a birthday present from Sera just a year before she had moved.
She thumbed through the cream-colored pages for a moment, but couldn’t stay to read it here. Needing to get back to the orphanage, she took the journal with her as she left the house and walked north on Pine Street.
As she passed by Julia’s house, Falcon came out and greeted her with a smile. “Hey, Viv.”
“Hey,” she said, returning the smile. “Glad you’re back. Julia’s been nuts without you.”
He nodded. “I’m just heading to see her now.”
She nodded, too, and they headed toward the orphanage together. “How was your trip?” she asked politely. “Is your friend better?”
“Yeah, everything’s okay now.”
“Why’s Sera staying?”
“Oh… just some follow-up care.”
She nodded again.
“So, can you handle things at the orphanage alone? I need to take Jules home for a bit,” Falcon said, calling his wife by the nickname only he used.
Vivyka was shocked that Falcon would be that forward. “No problem. Take as long as you want.”
Falcon glanced over at her and rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t pull her away from work for that. I’m forty-two, not seventeen. That can wait.”
“Remind me not to get old,” she said without thinking. “Oh! Not that you’re old, I—”
Falcon chuckled. “I thought the same thing when I was your age. But you mellow with time and learn quality, not quantity.”
Vivyka just nodded and went quiet. She looked down at the journal in her hand and thought about how most of it was filled with her childhood ideal of the perfect man—basically, Falcon. She had dreamt of meeting someone like him, someone who would love her the way he loved Julia. But when she was sixteen, she had met Mathias instead. He had never loved her, but he had showed her what passion was. More than once, he had come to see her at work, and they had stolen away into the stock room for a while. They couldn’t wait for later; there was too much passion, too much desire, to wait.
Though she had given up on the idea of love after Mathias, there was still that little part of her that wanted it, that still longed for what Falcon and Julia had. But even if she got it, she thought, she would want that person to be just as passionate as she was. She couldn’t imagine mellowing out; she wanted to be filled with desire, no matter how old she was.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she was a little surprised when she and Falcon were suddenly at the orphanage. Julia must have heard the front door open, because she rushed into the main room to see who it was. When her gaze fell upon her husband, her eyes became glossy, and she smiled widely as she ran to him. She threw herself into his arms and kissed him fervently.
Vivyka knew she should look away, but she couldn’t. She just stood there and smiled at them. She was happy and sad at the same time. She remembered what it was like to be excited like that; she knew how wonderful it was to feel the man you loved again when he returned from a trip. She missed that. Suddenly that old ache came back, that longing for Mathias. She sighed at herself for missing the bastard. Three years later and she was still grumbling at herself to forget him. But though she hated him for his abuse, she had loved him too, because he had been wonderful so much of the time.
“Maybe I should take trips more often,” Falcon was saying, now that his wife had finally stopped kissing him, “if this is the welcome I get.”
Julia glared and smacked his arm. “Don’t you dare!”
He chuckled, then said very seriously, “That’s not a trip I want to repeat.”
She nodded and caressed the arm she had just hit. She looked up at him questioningly.
He nodded back. “Let’s go home. Viv says she’s fine here by herself.”
“Thanks, sweetie," Julia said to Vivyka. "I’ll see you later.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Vivyka told her pointedly.
Julia smiled. “Thanks.”
Vivyka smirked. “Yep. Have fun.”
Falcon shook his head as he took his wife’s hand and led her outside.
Just then, a little boy with messy red hair and a freckled face ran into the room, being chased by a chubby girl with long blond curls. The boy raced to Vivyka, put his arms around her leg, and hid behind her. “Maddy’s gonna hurt me!”
“Dirk stole my doll!” the girl accused loudly.
“I didn’t touch your stupid doll!” he told her.
“Uh-huh!”
Vivyka shook her head. “Madelyn, I’m pretty sure I saw it in the playroom. Go look by the dollhouse.”
“It’s not there, I looked,” the girl said.
“Look again.”
“It’s not there!” she insisted in a tone that called Vivyka stupid.
“Look again,” Vivyka repeated firmly. Madelyn sighed heavily and huffed off into the next room. Safe now, Dirk came out of hiding and held his hands out to Vivyka. She picked him up, and he wrapped his little arms around her neck. Dirk always wanted to be held and always wanted to be with Vivyka. She rubbed his back and kissed his cheek before heading into the playroom, where the rest of the kids were. She might not have romantic love, she thought, but she did have plenty of affection from the children here.
“I found it!” Madelyn called. “It was in the dollhouse.”
Vivyka just smiled.
